I Need a New Title

Ain't they cute?

Ain’t they cute?

(A few days ago): “You still can’t talk about TFAW without saying, ‘We,'” my husband said. “You need to get over it.”

(Last week): “Why don’t we let our guest, Elisabeth Allie, introduce herself?” “Hi there, I’m a former marketing manager for Things From Another World, now stay-at-home mom . . . ”

(My Twitter description): Comic lover. Former marketing chick for . A baby is my boss now.

It’s true. I quit officially quit my job in December to stay home with Sarah, but I’m still clinging to my old title like a security blanket–my identity. Who am I without a job? I’m afraid of the answer.

After all, I think–why would podcasts like Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men or Ask Me About My Draculas ask me to be a guest, if not for my (now over) job? I still message a pal at work: Hey, so-and-so just announced a new book, this would be a great signing! I pull out my work history (history) as some sort of credentials whenever I meet someone new. It’s like I’m saying, I wasn’t always a housewife! People paid me to use my brains and (try to) make money.

Which is completely insulting to what I’m doing now: of course I have to use my brains to run our house and raise our children. And I’m “making” money by figuring out ways to trim our budget and use our funds wisely. So what am I so afraid of? Here’s a short list:

  • I’m afraid of losing touch of what’s happening in the comics world. Not only do I love comics, but it’s my husband’s life, as well. But now, when I hear comics news, I feel like I’m on the outside with my nose pressed against the window.
  • I’m afraid I won’t have anything interesting to talk about. I’m obsessed with zero waste and the 10-item wardrobe. I’m cooking and gardening. I’m fascinated with every developing detail of Sarah, and I can talk about Sid until the cows come home. But it’s hardly thrilling material to people who aren’t also parents or stay-at-home moms, and I dread seeing that slightly . . . glazed look on people’s faces, the moment I know I’m boring them silly.
  • I’m afraid I’ll never go to San Diego Comic-Con again. I know I know, so many of you will say, “I wish I didn’t have to go!” You’re fucking liars. It’s the big show, the big game, and even the parts that really suck are better than staying at home and seeing announcements on Twitter. It sucks!
  • I’m afraid that if I do go to SDCC again, it will be as . . . a wife. A nonentity. I was joking last night that if I went again, I would probably volunteer to man someone’s booth . . . and then I realized I wasn’t joking.

So who am I? How do I describe myself now? I don’t want to make up some cutesy, insufferable made-up title, and I don’t want to go back to work full time. I love being home with the kids, actually! But . . . I’m restless . . .

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2 thoughts on “I Need a New Title

  1. I know what you mean–“what am I, if not my job?” FUCK titles! You are obviously a warm and loving mom/stepmom/wife. Titles are for other people. Don’t ever think of yourself as “only” something. This demeans you and the wonderful things you do every day for the ones you love.

    Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh–it’s just that titles tend to perpetuate the “mommy wars” where moms who stay at home AND those who work outside the home feel like they have to apologize or explain their choice, or worse, defend themselves to other moms for making the opposite choice.

    In other words, I believe in NO JUDGING when it comes to what you decide to do once you have kids. You obviously thought it was the right time to quit, and it’s not a decision you made lightly; you also still have a strong love for the world of comics.

    Nobody says this is your final decision ever, though. YOU CAN GO BACK if you want, later on. And why can’t you stay in the comics world as much as possible? You can do anything you want. Still and always.

    Liked by 1 person

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